day 30

Assalamu’alaykum. We’re a day away from welcoming Syawal and I’m overwhelmed. There are so many events and uncountable revelations to share but I do not know where to begin. This Ramadan has, in many ways benefited me as a servant. May Allah accept our dua and keep us under His grace.

Translation

I was determined to understand the quran for this Ramadan. To be liberated. To absorb His kalam more than just to recite. It was a struggle to find a book that speaks to me - I’m proud of my heritage but english has helped me unravel the writer that I aspire to be. Alhamdulillah, with ease I was introduced to the english translation by M.A.S Abdeel Haleem. This book is available at Kinokuniya if you’re interested to get one.

“You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you. God knows and you do not,” 2:215.

It was first made known to me by mom. I remember I was in the states, figuring out my trembling heart and mom posted this on my Facebook wall. In writing, when you state out ‘something’ to complete your sentence, it makes up a weak argument. You must explain. In His kalam, it speaks to each of us - individually. It refers to what your heart longs for or why most of us are standing at a junction.

Surely when you leave it to Allah and lillahi ta’ala, you take a step forward with faith. You put your faith in Him and you believe that inshaallah He takes into account your intention and action. With so many calamities overwhelming us, it was enlightening how Mufti Menk reasons it out that these are all His tests, not a form of punishment.

Make dua. I never knew about qunut nazilah, I know now. Make dua, it is the quiet time when you kneel down to Him and ask for His forgiveness, His blessings, His guidance and His grace that matter. We are blessed with technology and everything is at our fingertips but how has this advancement justified the servant that we are? We are accountable for every action, speech and all that we do. How has the dua-status that you posted benefited you?

“Whatever you may say aloud, He knows what you keep secret and what is even more hidden,” 20: 7.

Pray for yourself. Make dua for your parents. Sadaqah your prayers to those in need.

Reflection

I spent a day with a group of orphanage at Sabak Bernam. It was not my first time volunteering but it was my first time observing volunteers. It was also my first time helping out as an organizer for a one-day program. Allah is great, He has always held my hands without my knowing. My two beautiful friends were there with me, whom I know are treasures sent by Him. He also grants me with a man who’s worthy of my journey.

That experience reminds me of how doing good, lillahi ta’ala will always has its challenges. With different upbringing and background, your maturity to carry out responsibilities stands by you. Some people do it for the fame, some just beautifully love helping. When we always refer these kids as the less fortunate, this Ramadan, I bear witness that they are more fortunate than I am.

xxx

Before you "share" your good news, consider this:

You know that feeling when something amazing happens to you and you cant wait to share it with the world? Learn to wait. Here’s why:

1. When any good news came to the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) or if a calamity had been averted, he would immediately fall in prostration (sajdatul shukr) and thank Allah for it. This is a beautiful sunnah that should be practiced all the time and not just for major occasions like graduations, new homes, etc.

2. Take a few moments to really deeply say al hamdulila from the depths of your heart. That will be a form of maintaining that blessing as Allah will see your sincere gratitude.

3. Some of the scholars say that one of the reasons Allah did not allow Zakariyya (alayhis salam) to speak for 3 days except for words of praise was to bestow a greater appreciation of the blessing upon him. Al Baghawi (ra) said that is because sometimes when you speak about your blessings to others immediately, you lose yourself in your excitement.

So from now on when something good happens to you, hold off on the phone call, text, email, or status. Say takbeer, go into prostration, say subhana rabbi al a’ala the way you do in your prostration in prayer, AND add a personal note of dua and thanks to Allah from the depths of your heart before you rise.

- Omar Suleiman

xxx

Kullu am wa antum bikhair. Selamat hari raya.

make dua

I don’t have the money in the world to support my brothers and sisters in Gaza but inshaallah, I have my words the very least to create awareness; to invite all of you to make dua, to open up your minds, to start taking actions in your own capacity, to do what you can to help and to not be ignorant.

You have no one else to blame but yourself if your response towards the current situation in Gaza is “I don’t know what’s happening”. The use of social media varies from one user to another but I am here to encourage you to expand its use beyond making friends. You are not five nor are you 10 years old. Kids as young as two years old were killed. What justification do we have to our creator for being ignorant?

I was never into boycotting. I was just ignorant. I was in denial. I did not make any dua. I read but I never understood. I am ashamed of myself. Now, I’m making a plea, in retribution of my personal ignorance, let’s read and understand what is going on. Read and understand before you make any statement, before you make any judgment and before you decide to be ignorant.

This is a good month to inculcate good habits. Let’s do this together. Instead of reading BuzzFeed, subscribe to Viva Palestina Malaysia and if English tires you, there’s Aqsa Syarif. If you don’t enjoy reading, there are so many videos that you can watch.

xxx

“Please do not get desensitized by the images and the numbers of people being murdered in Gaza. That kid whose leg got cut off could’ve been your son. That man who lost his eye could’ve been your father. That lady who is currently suffering from mental disorders could’ve been your mother. That young female who was burned to death could’ve been your wife.

Well guess what, that boy is someone’s son. That man is someone’s father. That lady is someone’s mother. And that young female is someone’s love.

But not because you only see increasing numbers and pictures, it means it’s not a big deal anymore. I wish you guys can see my personal Facebook. My cousins are sharing pictures of their best friends who were killed. The situation is very depressing. So it hurts me when I read people’s comments saying they’ve gotten used to it. Just because you don’t know them, it doesn’t mean you should accept such a genocide by Israel.

I don’t know the people who are dying in Syria and Burma. But I love them. I care for them. They are my honour. A Syrian woman’s dignity is part of my dignity. Islam comes before blood; that’s what the Prophet taught us.”

Mohammed Zeyara - is on Facebook.

xxx

Make dua. Make dua and talk to Allah.

it's ok

it’s ok if they don’t understand why
it’s ok if they are superior than your purpose
it’s ok if they criticize blindly
it’s ok if they let you down
it’s ok if they limit your perception
to justify their ignorance

it’s ok if they parade your pride
it’s ok if they are your family
it’s ok if they are your friends

i read the other day, nothing lasts but Him
hang onto eternal, not material
it’s ok.
it has always been between you and Him

Day 5

As-salam

Some nights I woke up to terrible fears and drenched with distasteful insights. Those nights I’d hit myself hard and switch on the silver-lining button. To quickly gather my sense and belonging to this world then justify my means to His hereafter - all that in wee hours of the night, I was always almost convinced that the room is make-believe.

I’ve been looking for a translation that is close to my heart. It is not because I’m ignorant of my origin but it is only because I need what speaks to me. I’ve kept it low to most but to some who understand, I push my search further.

Thanks to a friend, I’ve settled for one. Tonight, this unforeseen awaken brought me to finally reading it. Too lost for words, I’m recommending this version to those who are looking for an English translation of the Quran. Read and understand in a language that brings you closer to Him. "...He could take away their hearing and sight: God has power over everything." (2:20)

Lillahi ta’ala, Mufti Menk kept reminding us that evening. He felt that we, volunteers are deserving of his time. The 30-minute speech turned to an hour and I left the room speechless. So many wisdoms, unwritten, “Believe in Allah and believe that what you believe in is lillahi ta’ala,” he said. 

So many sharing, unspoken, “You have to humble yourself down. You must keep reminding yourself that what you do i.e. volunteering is lillahi ta’ala,” he said. “If you do it because of me, then leave”.

Friday lunch

I was at Cafe Vienna paying for a slice of opera cake when I heard familiarity. I jumped in excitement, signaling my colleague, Syaz that I’m making my way to that familiarity. It was so calming I gasped in awe. When was the last time I feast my ears or entertain the longing to tap those hardening keys?

I sat there tickling my noggin, trying to recognize the music being played. Damn it, damn it I know the song. I used to play by ears when I was so consumed with nothing but perfecting my trills. I remember Ms. Tan, who kept tapping my pinky fingers because no matter how curved the rest was, they could not curve close to the keys. I spent more than a decade learning the art of pianoforte.

Today, I spend hours cracking a paragraph of words, words that are unforgivingly unartistic. With a cup of coffee and a shuffle of music to keep my interest awake. Music that is wordless but justifiably worth a thousand words. Oh what joy it is getting lost and never growing old of Canon in D.

Then he stood up realizing that we were clapping our hands. He walked up to us and smiled. “Would you like to request a song?” he said. “Ballad pour Adeline,” I replied. Three minutes and I was walking beneath an imaginary rainbow making my way out of this humid reality. Merci, monsieur. Vous avez fait ma journee.

Do them no wrong

I kept backspacing. It is inarguably impossible not to. Either I am dissatisfied or always dissatisfied. I am my worst critic. Surely you too have self-expectations that non other than yourself can clarify in the event that you do not meet your standards. Well, in some cases there is always a better way to word your thoughts, or a minimal adjustment to make it meaningless and to only, only distract your audience.

Oh hello, where are my manners? I hope you are still reading if you have been reading. Do know that I have been writing, nothing lyrical but purely… work. I figured I am on my journey to becoming a chameleon writer - hopefully an inarguable one. I do product brochures, which at times can be frustrating when comments come about the misconception of its poetic juncture. I have learned to live by. Layman is not lyrical. So they say. I have made amend with the technical criticism but the… oh don’t bother.

I suppose 2014 has been good to you. It is excruciating to bid goodbye to the long weekend. I spent the whole weekends sniffing through Kleenex and potato couching. It always amazes me how being under the weather does not affect my appetite. Enough of claptrap, let’s move on to what brings me here.

Disclaimer: I do not have a cup of joe with me.

I think it is a no-brainer that we should respect the elders. Most of us grew up to the understanding that the elders are to be respected because they know more and that they have been through what we have yet to unravel. We respect them not because they have lived longer but we respect them because we too want to be respected.

My parents and I have had insightful conversations over the past few weeks. Incidents after incidents, it breaks my heart to have my mother repeatedly confirming her belief that no matter how bad a parents is, he or she is still your parent. I tried justifying for the sake of a different view but I lost. That particular incident blew them off.

We, children are a reflection of our parents but over time we are our own self. We too, will become parents. There is no cultural ramification, it is just behavioral.

I am truly blessed to have wonderful parents. The times that they have stirred me off my equilibrium, they do it worriedly to help me live. I may not understand the pain that some of you had/ have to endure growing up but I do know that God is fair. Please, take a moment and absorb the root of your existence. You do not just appear out of nowhere. Could it be that tomorrow you lose a sight and your father is called to meet his creator? Could it be that the only bridge for you to meet your creator is delayed by the 5 seconds you shouted at your mother?

We call ourselves educated without bearing its social strata. It breaks my heart that my father too is sadden by the incidents. I wish I can do more. I am proud however, to know that they pray wonderment for the people who have hurt them shamefully. So beautiful.

As I kneel down and reminded of my belonging, I am always bounded by their blessings. So do you.